Am I disconnected?

I work at my church. I participate in the planning meetings. I understand the concepts and the sermon series. I don't connect though. Why?

I am wondering out loud, why do I not feel what others feel during our services- is there something wrong with me?

I sat in staff meeting today hearing how the series impacted those in our community and I felt nothing. It is not that I don't care about what others feel- that I do care, but for myself- nothing. It is a general malaise. Maybe the planning aspect, or the seminary training, or my self study actually blocks me from hearing from God. I have heard that seminary students have trouble listening to a sermon after their training because they are listening with critical ears. I listen to hear the in depth clues and Greek terms that will help me see the scriptures more clearly. This may be preventing me from experiencing the big picture. I don't go for feelings in a sermon, but the textual issues and Greek words that frame God's word. It is not right or wrong, just stumping me.

I am disconnecting from the emotional connections in my community because...? Because I am so involved in the tasks, I forget to stop- shabat! I have known this and have tried to build community in staff and other leaders, but here I go again task oriented....Arrg!

I have been disconnecting from a lot lately. I think it has been difficult to deal with all that goes on in my life and others. I am constantly running- running away? running to? Hmmm?

Just thinking out loud here and wonder if anyone thinks like me.